Not knowing our priorities in life, feeling confused about the choices we have to make, and getting drifted with the current, I feel, these are the indications when we are not in control of our lives, when we are so much dependent on the externals, i.e. external situations and persons, that we invest all our energies in arranging and manipulating these factors, and in the end feel dejected, for they can never reach that depth in us, which will guarantee any lasting satisfaction. Now, can one Decide to be in control and bring that determination in effect by being disciplined and up and doing? Is it a question of Will or of Knowing? Do we REALLY know that the externals are immaterial and inadequate or rather an obstacle in our search of True Happiness? That we are becoming a victim of self-alienation in the process and getting further away from our real Self, from our real desire, real aspiration and potential to actualize that! And if we really know this, with our whole being, not intellectually or conceptually, not as a reaction from the setbacks or failures we have experienced in our endeavors, but Actually, with our whole being, without any doubt what-so-ever, then is there a struggle to overcome these conflicting voices? Or are there any conflicts alive still?
The irony of our lives is that we know what to learn from our life's experiences, but we never actually learn those lessons from our lives. Now, is it that our very knowing 'what to know' is obstructing our learning by killing our innocence and our receptivity? By restricting and limiting our field of investigation to the preset ideas and prejudices from past learning? In that case, we are always laboring under the burden of PAST, our past knowledge, our past worries, aspirations, ideals and expectations! We 'know' beforehand what to expect and what to gain from the life; and this 'knowledge' is what deprives us from the eternal 'newness' of the present! We perpetually live in the past. Now, can one get rid of this unconscious clinging to the past? For this clinging has been rooted in us to such a deeper level, and has been active from so early a childhood when our conscious had not even started actively choosing and willing its things, that it is almost impossible to notice it; what to speak of overcoming or snapping it loose! But really is there any other way to freedom than to go deeper into ourselves and investigate the causes of our bondage and .....
But then, have we missed the point in our eagerness to understand and conceptualize the thing in words and language? In our haste to express our thoughts, have we lost our grip on the essentials?
These and such thoughts were disturbing me today.... so thought of bothering you too with them! Now you know, why I call this blog by that name!
The irony of our lives is that we know what to learn from our life's experiences, but we never actually learn those lessons from our lives. Now, is it that our very knowing 'what to know' is obstructing our learning by killing our innocence and our receptivity? By restricting and limiting our field of investigation to the preset ideas and prejudices from past learning? In that case, we are always laboring under the burden of PAST, our past knowledge, our past worries, aspirations, ideals and expectations! We 'know' beforehand what to expect and what to gain from the life; and this 'knowledge' is what deprives us from the eternal 'newness' of the present! We perpetually live in the past. Now, can one get rid of this unconscious clinging to the past? For this clinging has been rooted in us to such a deeper level, and has been active from so early a childhood when our conscious had not even started actively choosing and willing its things, that it is almost impossible to notice it; what to speak of overcoming or snapping it loose! But really is there any other way to freedom than to go deeper into ourselves and investigate the causes of our bondage and .....
But then, have we missed the point in our eagerness to understand and conceptualize the thing in words and language? In our haste to express our thoughts, have we lost our grip on the essentials?
These and such thoughts were disturbing me today.... so thought of bothering you too with them! Now you know, why I call this blog by that name!
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