Is struggle inevitable?

Now, that sounds like a childish and stupid question. For no one, in his senses, would ever doubt this very grain of human life, without which our race wouldn't have survived this date. But we are not asking this question from the survival or biological point of view. We are not questioning the moral imperative on us - when faced with the life threatening scenario. We are asking this question in psychological point of view. Is it necessary to be in constant battle with life for its improvement? To be measuring and comparing our 'IS' with our 'SHOULD BE' and being in a constant state of war to achieve a result. Is the success at the other bank of the river and is there light only at the end of the tunnel? Must one pass through this period of conflict and misery and struggle and privations to come to peace? Or are we burdening our minds with the ideas of Perfection and are thus missing the whole point?
We will be back on this soon....
There we are! reflecting back on our lives, and its evolution or growth to the present status, can we ignore the role played by struggles in it? Then, is it legitimate to say that the attraction of life without struggle is the result of that struggle itself? May be YES! After all till there are two voices inside us, vying for attention, there must be a conflict! And conflict means struggle! Struggle to choose, struggle to express and struggle to succeed. The moment we are poised against someone, whom we must conquer in order to reach somewhere, there is this battle of I v/s You!  Can it ever cease unless we are either not eager to reach at all, or we are not partitioning ourselves between I and You! In former case, we are lost for the life seems to be purposeless and meaningless if we are to give up our natural urge to BECOME someone, to arrive somewhere and to distinguish ourselves. Only when we are established in the understanding that our conception of "I" is not as limited as we think today, we can hope to come out of this struggle. Only when we see that "I" includes "YOU", he, she, it, and everything else, we are saved from this feeling of exclusiveness. Now our idea of "I" includes you as well. So there is no need to protect MY interest from YOUR interest. It is well with me now! Now the question is.. is this IDEA of oneness attainable or is it mere speculation of our mind?

Positivity

Only when one has undergone the period of negativity and melancholy that one understands and realizes the value of positivity. It is not a state that can be forced by an action of will or determination. One can not practice to remain positive and try and struggle to maintain that state. It comes and goes by its own sweet will. But then, our estimating and valuing it becomes meaningless, if we are merely puppets in the hands of destiny! Not really! Thought it is true that we can not by causality bring about that state at our command, but we, by knowing the inevitable shifting and cyclic changes in the states may learn to be calm and composed when we are not enjoying that positive state of mind and this calmness will qualify us for its next visitation. Our searching for the causes, many times makes us miss the obvious and most simple facts and keep us in perpetual state of struggle. The moment we shift gears, sometimes unconsciously,  while taking bath, taking a walk, or doing something routine quite mechanically, it suddenly comes upon us. The mystery unravels when we are not trying to solve it. May be our being unaware provides it with the necessary environment to work out its own entanglement. Now, knowing this mystery can we apply this as a strategy to come out of our depression, everytime? Then, again it becomes the work of our conscious will and the ploy is defeated. So knowledge can only know its limitations. It can identify, describe and diagnose the problem, but as soon as we try to apply the solution, the problem shifts or simply escapes our grip. May be it seems to get solved at that level but appears at some other place assuming a different dimension, requiring different diagnosis and different approach. The only way, this perpetual machine of problems can cease to function is by our ceasing to pay attention to it and our stopping to try to solve it. That is by climbing to a higher level of awareness.

Conceiving without conceptualizing!

Does that title make any sense? Can one really understand anything without forming concepts about the thing in question, without theorizing or classifying the object or event in question? One must investigate withing himself, what he means when he understands something about a thing. Say, I have understood how walking works! Nothing miraculous, but an immensely important revelation, indeed! And do I have to practice or revise or brush up my understanding in order to keep it fresh and alive? Or has it become a part of me, has it become ME? so that there is no layer of ideation or concept of theory of intellect in between? Now lets say, I have also understood how differentiation works, in mathematics, or how classical mechanics works. Can I be sure that in future it will always be available to me, without my making any conscious efforts to keep it update? This I think is the difference between TWO layers of understanding. You never worry about losing one, once you have got hold of it, for it has become a part of you, it has become YOU! While in case of other, there is always a doubt lingering, about its survival and being available to me in future. It is yet separate from you, an objective knowledge of a thing which you could study without becoming a part of it.
Now, can the mind give up its habit of conceptualizing and learn to see the things without any barrier of separate Observer or an independent Subject studying the Objective world? Can one give up this habit of rationalizing and generalizing and theorizing and drawing logical conclusions about our observations? Or more importantly, is this practice worth any application in practical life? What could one gain if he resisted or curbed the tendency of rationalization? Does it guarantee us the intuition, or more certain knowledge about the world? Is reason an obstacle in the flowering of intuition? Does one have to go beyond the limits set by ordinary mind to be able to feel the truth in its fullness and in an intimate way? And how do we know that the conclusion thus reached about the inadequacy of the rational knowledge or of ordinary conceptualizing mind is not another concept formed by the mind trying to run away from its own limitations, trying to overflow its own boundaries. Thats it! To know something as true and to prove it as true are altogether different propositions! Lets not bother about proving anything; if we are sure about the Truth of our knowledge, that will speak, through our faith, through our actions and through our very life! And when life speaks, you can not but listen! Nothing can resist those words of wisdom from LIFE, we know they are true, without theorizing or rationalizing or conceptualizing! What say?

10 April

Not knowing our priorities in life, feeling confused about the choices we have to make, and getting drifted with the current, I feel, these are the indications when we are not in control of our lives, when we are so much dependent on the externals, i.e. external situations and persons, that we invest all our energies in arranging and manipulating these factors, and in the end feel dejected, for they can never reach that depth in us, which will guarantee any lasting satisfaction. Now, can one Decide to be in control and bring that determination in effect by being disciplined and up and doing? Is it a question of Will or of Knowing? Do we REALLY know that the externals are immaterial and inadequate or rather an obstacle in our search of True Happiness? That we are becoming a victim of self-alienation in the process and getting further away from our real Self, from our real desire, real aspiration and potential to actualize that! And if we really know this, with our whole being, not intellectually or conceptually, not as a reaction from the setbacks or failures we have experienced in our endeavors, but Actually, with our whole being, without any doubt what-so-ever, then is there a struggle to overcome these conflicting voices? Or are there any conflicts alive still?
The irony of our lives is that we know what to learn from our life's experiences, but we never actually learn those lessons from our lives. Now, is it that our very knowing 'what to know' is obstructing our learning by killing our innocence and our receptivity? By restricting and limiting our field of investigation to the preset ideas and prejudices from past learning? In that case, we are always laboring under the burden of PAST, our past knowledge, our past worries, aspirations, ideals and expectations! We 'know' beforehand what to expect and what to gain from the life; and this 'knowledge' is what deprives us from the eternal 'newness' of the present! We perpetually live in the past. Now, can one get rid of this unconscious clinging to the past? For this clinging has been rooted in us to such a deeper level, and has been active from so early a childhood when our conscious had not even started actively choosing and willing its things, that it is almost impossible to notice it; what to speak of overcoming or snapping it loose! But really is there any other way to freedom than to go deeper into ourselves and investigate the causes of our bondage and .....
But then, have we missed the point in our eagerness to understand and conceptualize the thing in words and language? In our haste to express our thoughts, have we lost our grip on the essentials?
These and such thoughts were disturbing me today.... so thought of bothering you too with them! Now you know, why I call this blog by that name!

9 April

I was reading one article by J. Krishnamurti today morning on 'What causes Pain' that appeared in Sunday Pioneer. But I feel the correct heading could have been 'Misery of dependence'. He has expounded in his customary style the traps our mind so easily falls in, the psychology behind that occurrence and also our lack of awareness that complicates the situation. It all starts from the childhood when we develop these defensive techniques to protect us against any possible pain or hurt, by depending on some form of security - say mother, family, house, friends, love and so on. And these enter our sub-conscious and rule us throughout our lives without our knowing or ever suspecting the menace caused by them. Now can we get rid of this tendency to depend on persons or things? Can the mind realize this utter futility of the exercise of depending on and living in the illusion of these created securities? And what happens when the mind thus becomes free of all psychological dependence? JK calls it SANITY! It is this sanity which is the necessary and sufficient condition for discovery of Truth. The mind that has given us all its hooks and hinges and supports and is free from all books, theories, ideologies, all its dependence on persons, things, theories and God, is the ripe mind, it is unconditioned and free enough to inquire and discover the nature of Truth, fearlessly, boldly and freely!
Isn't it so?

Mayavati: 8 April 11

This is my first post on the web. And i don't quiet understand how  and what the mind wants to share with all of you around - here and now. And also why do i want to share anything with strangers (!) at all? But isn't this idea of strangeness limiting and constraining me from reaching out to all of you, who are not quiet different from me, and rather, are part of me, or ARE ME! Isn't it a wonderful platform to feel my oneness with all my peers, my friends, my friends and also strangers! I love this idea of being One with you all! My problems are no more my own, my joys, my sorrows, my elations and depressions, they include US all.

We are One!